Here’s part two (finally!) of why my husband and I have elected for me to birth our babies at home. If you’re new to this “series,” please catch up with part one of “Why I choose homebirth.” And as a refresher, please re-read the section in the middle about how I don’t care how you birth your baby. It’s really important.
I’m now at 39.3 weeks and still a-gestating. I’m at the point where my medium maternity shirts no longer fit, but there’s no way in God’s green earth I’m forking over another $12 to get a larger size. I’m also chubbing out. Big time. I call it getting “ripe.” I really want this sweet girl to show up before I tip two-hundie on the scale. I absolutely REFUSE to be the same weight as my husband, even if it’s only for a couple of days.
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After quickly realizing how much money we would be spending on an out-of-pocket hospital birth with our first baby (we were making too much to be on Oregon Health Plan), I started researching homebirth and Portland-area midwives. I interviewed three midwifery practices — one licensed, direct-entry set of midwives, a pair of nurse-midwives who also attended homebirths and a naturopath.
After interviewing all three sets of practitioners, we settled on the pair of licensed, direct-entry midwives. I really felt comfortable with them (they were just a bit older than me), they displayed a great amount of confidence in their abilities as midwives and honestly, they were really normal, which is kind of a rare commodity in the Portland midwifery community (there I said it).
Here were (and still are) the main reasons we choose homebirth:
Cost: Yes, cost was major factor for us. If a hospital birth would have been cheaper out-of-pocket, we would have definitely elected to birth there, especially with our first baby. With subsequent babies though, I would have still chosen a homebirth even if a hospital birth would have been less with our health insurance. We went into homebirth for the cost, but really fell in love with the experience after that (if you can really “love” anything about birth).
Our first birth was $2000, which included all pre-natal appointments, our birthing class (taught by our midwives), the actual birth, and all post-natal and well-baby appointments for six weeks. We were also responsible for all lab work (probably $60 without insurance) and had to purchase the birthing kit (around $60).
Fast forward nine years and our midwife’s fee (same midwife) is now $3200 (discounted from $4000 for paying cash in full at the beginning — luckily we have an emergency fund that we used and have spent the last few months replenishing). I haven’t had any outside lab tests done with this birth and the birthing kit and related supplies was just under $100. We did pay $75 for a gender ultrasound at UltraSona Portland (a lovely place next to a fish market in SE Portland). My husband is still annoyed about this expense.
Since my health insurance deductible is $5000 (we have a lower-cost, high-deductible individual plan), homebirth is still the cheapest option for us. By far.
Expertise: From the beginning, I wanted a non-medicated birth. And if I was going to have a non-medicated birth, I wanted to select a location and a caregiver that lent itself the most to helping me achieve this. I knew that if I went to a hospital, it was very likely I would chose the drugs at some point. Seriously, who wouldn’t? I’m in incredible pain and someone’s offering me a needle to make it go away? Yeah, hook a sista up. So I figured it was best to remove that option altogether.
I also wanted a care provider that was an expert at normal, low-risk, non-medicated births. And midwives are just that — they are trained to help a woman deliver a baby without medical intervention. They are actually really, really good at it.
My first birth was a typical first birth in that it took a very long time. Like 40 hours long. And I had a difficult time pushing that little girl out. Not “scary” difficult, but just regular “this is my first time doing this and my mind and my body need to adjust” difficult. My midwives patiently and competently lead me through those four long hours of pushing.
Level of care: I didn’t realize this with my first baby, but midwifery and homebirths absolutely hit a home run when it comes to post-natal care. For six weeks (and longer if you need it), you have instant access to their services. I have post-natal appointments at one day, two days, one week, two weeks, four weeks and six weeks post-postpartum and the first four visits are at home, so no one needs to get in the car for almost a month.
In addition, a midwife also provides newborn care for the first six weeks (you can always elect to see a pediatrician or family doctor at any point) and provides all breastfeeding care. Having trouble making the nursing work? One phone call and my midwife would be at my house in a jiffy, day or night. And she won’t give up until the problem is solved. Because of this, almost every single homebirth mother is able to breastfeed for as long as she wishes.
PSA: We’re going to talk girl stuff, so fellas, you have been given fair warning.
With my first birth, my midwives and I decided together not to stitch a small stretching of my perineum (it wasn’t a “tear,” but what they call a rug burn, I think? Sounds grody to me). Well, I didn’t follow the instructions to “keep my legs together” well enough and ended up tearing two days after birth. Needless to say, the recovery was not pleasant.
Since repairing the tear with stitches would have required some “roughing up” of the wound (are you gagging yet?), I had to wait for my body to heal on its own. But you know what? My midwife was at my house day after day helping me fix the problem. Obviously, we both wished we would have just stitched the stupid thing in the first place, but she was with me the entire time.
Just for the record, me and my perineum are doing just fine now. Everything healed correctly within a few months.
Birthing Flexibility: I absolutely love that homebirth leaves most birth decisions up to the parents. Every single test available is optional. My midwife has a couple that she strongly suggests, but she doesn’t require them. I elect to do all the blood work, strep test thingy, and I am fine with Doppler monitoring during prenatal visits and labor, but we do not do the tests in the middle that indicate Down Syndrome and other things (I have absolutely no idea what the test is actually called). I also elect to skip the fasting gestational diabetes tests, as I have never had any symptoms of gestational diabetes.
I get to birth the way I want to as long as the baby and I are safe. I am not constrained by an IV hanging out of my arm or a fetal monitor strapped to my belly (my midwife regularly checks the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler during labor and during every pushing contraction, which is really, really annoying). I can get in whatever position I want or that is suggested to me, though I usually don’t have many preferences during labor except to get this thing out of me. I have been able to birth all four of my babies in a birthing tub, which is really nice for pain control and post-birth clean-up.
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I would love to answer some of you questions in the next post as well as fill in some of the interesting details of how homebirth actually works. So, let me have it! What have you always wanted to know about homebirth?
Yet another disclaimer: Please understand that the main reason I am posting all of this homebirth stuff is that I know some of you find it interesting. And I’m all about satisfying your curiosity. Also, I know there are some of you interested in having a homebirth yourself, but you don’t know anyone who has done it. I would love to be “that friend” who has gone before you, letting you in on the details, answering your questions and cheering you on with “You can really do this!”
Remember, no one has to defend their birthing choices in the comments. I think you are all totally rad :).
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Great post. My favorite part:
“For the record, me and my perineum are doing just fine now.”
Hope your birth goes smoothly and your midwives are clothed in wisdom for whatever is needed. And if you have a 2 hour labor, I hope they make it to your house!
OK I love the idea of homebirth. Who wouldn’t want to save money and be comfortable in your own home. I am an NICU nurse though and have seen babies brought in from home after a homebirth critically ill and some have been too late to save.
Oh how my heart aches for these families! I know that most deliveries go well without and epidural or medication. In fact only 10% of babies need any medical assistance at birth and only 5% need any major assistance, but know your risks. I had no risk factors with my first and severally hemorrhaged. I am not saying that homebirths are bad there are people at are good candidates for it. Just understand the risks.
I have a friend whose homebirthed baby died at one day old and it didn’t need to happen. Such a tragedy! Just because something happens naturally doesn’t mean it automatically happens safely. If anything, and I mean a.ny.thing. seems off, then get help. And make sure that the midwife you’re going with has and will transport. Get the details on how transporting decisions are made. Ask around your circle of friends and do some online sleuthing to see what other people think of the midwife you’re considering.
I homebirth and love it. Absolutely love it! It is, hands down, my preferred way to have babies. At the same time, I’m so thankful for midwives that had the discernment to know when I needed to be transported for two of my four deliveries.
Tragedies and awesome births both happen in hospitals and at home, so it’s not like one location is inherently better than the other. Just make sure you aren’t so convinced that one is best that you check your brain at the door. 🙂
That might possibly be the perfect response, Bethany. Thanks for chiming in.
Oh how I wish I could have homebirthed. First baby I didn’t know there were options.. I had a traumatic birth that included my daughters umbilical cord tearing before it was clamped and the doctor losing his mind in panic(ladies hug your nurses!), purple pushing, and 3rd degree tear that still causes issues even 11 years later.. do you know what it was like to be 19 and incontinent? I wasn’t able to breast feed, my milk didn’t come in.. I was told I wasn’t trying hard enough.
Second baby, induced with pit. over in 45 minutes. Seriously.. From iv to baby in less time than a movie. Couldn’t breast feed.
Third baby, went with nurse midwife thinking it would be better. That I wouldn’t be forced to labor on my back. I was wrong. I had to labor on my back and for the first time I got an epidural. The pit makes it hurt more and laboring while strapped to a bed is awful. AWFUL. The epidural caused long term back pain and my son had major decels leading to the demand of purple pushing. I birthed a baby tangled in his umbilical cord, wrapped 5 times around his neck and he was gray.. not blue, not purple. GRAY. I wonder how many of my choices led to that. Thankfully once untangled he started to pink up and cry. They wouldn’t let me nurse he had to have formula until he could keep his sugars up because he was 1 day shy of ‘full’ term. Then they said my milk was causing jaundice. I dried up while trying to pump until I could nurse. Let me name check that Catholic Hospital that did everything backwards of what is clinically proven best for baby. Providence St. Vincent!!! Hospital births can be the worst. Friends have told me theirs was amazing, they weren’t confined and didn’t have things done to them against their will. I’m not sure which of us is in the minority.
I want to be a midwife. Provide better experiences than I had. My newest is 18 months. It’ll be awhile but I will one day be a midwife helping other women have more peaceful births.
Jessi: I’m so sorry about your birthing experiences. Was the St. Vincent birth 18 months ago? Sounds like your story was from 20 years ago!
It was. For my first two I was at Good Sam in Corvallis, OR. 18 months ago with a nurse midwife was at St. Vincent. My birth was worse than my mother’s 30 years ago with me and she was at a military hospital*!
*they used to be as strict about giving birth as the drill sergeants were about pushups.
Wow! So many women have had such awful experiences at hospitals. I have to toot my hospitals horn, though. I go to Willamette Falls Birthplace and absolutely LOVE it. I have had two babies there and not once did they even offer drugs. They have always honored my wishes for my birth. My first had to be a C, though, because her HR dropped and then couldn’t be recovered. The doc gave me the choice to keep pushing through since she knew a C wasn’t what I wanted, though. I actually think the midwife told me to push too soon, when babe wasn’t quite in position, and then the babe became stressed. At that point I just wanted her out. But, the babe was difficult even for nursing and the nurses were amazing. We stayed 3 days until we got her to latch on. Our second was born in a mad flurry of chaos – as a vbac and I wouldn’t change anything about that birth (other than the crazy timing – I was in labor only 2 1/2 hours). We are expecting our 3rd any day (38.7 weeks) and are going to WFH again with Dr. Hall from Womens Health Center of Oregon. However, for our 4th pregnancy I am going to look into a homebirth for cost reasons. I love my hospital and doctors/midwives but with each subsequent birth our savings is cleaned out so wondering if HB would be less of a take. Your insurance sounds like it’s more OOP than ours so it may not work out cost wise but I am definetly going to look into it. I also HATE changing doctors so that’s another hurdle for me. Ultimately, having a good midwife or doctor & a well-researched and loved hospital (unless HB) are key to a happy birth experience. **I love the comment about the Portland midwifes being normal! I totally get it! Ha! Too funny!
One other thing I’m stuck on with a HB is the mess. With my second birth the room was a disaster – maybe because it was so chaotic – but the thought of having to deal with that at home in our tiny house is not appealing. Our house is quite small with only two bedrooms so there isn’t really anywhere to “go” while laboring. Also, what happens if there is an emergency? We live at least 20 minutes from the hospital. Do the midwives call an ambulance….??? or is it pretty rare for an emergency to happen?
The midwives clean up whatever mess occurs and often leave you place cleaner than when they got there 🙂 The blankets we put on the floor under the birth pool, in case of a leak, were folded and bagged up and put away, no a drop of anything on them. The towels we used went into the wash and were in the dryer when they left for the night. Anything that needed to be trashed they bagged and took with them and put in their dumpster. The helped put dishes away in the kitchen and put pictures back on the TV console. The next morning there was no sign of what happened the night before, other than the baby in my arms. It was quite surreal.
I spent most of the day “laboring” but it wasn’t anything that kept me confined to a room. Once things got down to business I labored in the shower, in my bedroom with the lights off, and once the tub was ready I came downstairs and climbed in – 30 minutes later I had a baby. I have read of women birthing in their shower, bathroom, bedroom, hallway, kitchen, inside, outside, wherever they are.
Very few “emergencies” are true emergencies in labor. Even an emergency c-section takes time – wheel mom to OR, get the OR ready, prep mom, do surgery, etc. A midwife watches mom carefully and checks baby often and knows from education and experience when something is off. They transfer mom by car or ambulance long before it becomes a life or death emergency. Emergencies are rare – MWs take low risk patients and they transfer high risk patients before it can become a problem. MWs do not have malpractice insurance so they are careful about what they deal with. Had I transferred while in labor my MW would have become my doula, she wouldn’t have abandoned me. We went over a transfer plan at the 36 week home visit.
Midwives look at birth as a naturally occurring event while OBs tend to look at it like a problem that needs to be fixed. Many have never seen a woman in labor naturally and when they do they don’t know what to do.
As an OB/GYN, I would disagree that most OB’s look at labor/birth as a “problem that needs to be fixed”, and I became an obstetrician (chose it over becoming a MW) after watching my mother have 2 birthing center/CNM births (preceding her home birth with a lay MW, I missed b/c I was in college and she delivered too fast). I would also say that most OB/GYNs (at least my colleagues, having worked in 8 different hospitals) have seen women labor naturally.
I would have liked to have a home birth. My first baby I had complications and ended up having her at 35 weeks along it was a quick birth for a first baby only 8 hours. With my second I tried to convince my husband to do a home birth but he was afraid of complications. At 35 weeks again I went into labor my doctor sent me over to the hospital and two hours later my baby was born. I think back how the nurses kept offering me medication and I kept refusing. I knew what to expect and I just stayed as relaxed as I could. Even though that birth was in the hospital none of the nurses expected me to go that fast so I was left alone most of the time. The doctor had to run to catch the baby. I think it is wonderful when you can choose what kind of birthchou want. I think it makes the whole experience more enjoyable well at least better.
Shelly, your babies are just in a hurry 🙂
Oh, you were a mere 7 days away from being able to stay at home. I’m hoping for a two hour labor as well :).
I think it is always best when moms go with their intuition! With my #6 kiddo, she was one of my fast labors, she had the cord wrapped around her head, which was what they thought was causing her heart rate to decelerate, but she also had herself hogtied around her ankle (her foot was black). Then as soon as she delivered, out came the whole umbilical cord, it broke off the placenta as soon as she came out. Weird! She wasn’t even overdue. Out of my other 5 kids, it was just business as usual, some were fast 3-4 hrs, some were the normal 10-15hrs, 15 min of pushing and done. Just follow your intuition mamas!
I want SO BADLY to have a homebirth with #5. My husband just wont have it. He won’t even allow me a birth center such as Andaluz. He is so worried something will go wrong and I will be too far from the hospital. He witnessed his nephew being born and he’s convinced the hospital saved him where as it’s obvious to everyone else that it was one mistake after another by the staff. I have birthed 4 healthy normal deliveries at the hospital. I was induced twice (never never again – inductions are so much worse!). I’ve delivered one without an epidural (yes, when you are there and they offer you that needle to make the pain go away – “hook me up!” is hard to pass up). I’ve also had one horrific experience having an epidural placed that stalled my labor for two hours when I was at a complete 10.
I dream of being able to have a home birth or a birth center. With this being #5, I don’t see DH changing his mind ever. Even for #20.
I think it’s so interesting that often times it’s the man that is so hesitant to go with a homebirth. I wonder why.
Just asked my husband, he said it was all about being at the hospital where everything and everyone is there “just in case.” But you know, throughout my pregnancies, he’s been way more nervous about everything than I ever was. But I was thinking about this, and I realized that I’m right in the thick of things (so to speak), and would have concern for my baby should something go wrong, and he’s a bit removed and would have concern not only for the baby, but also for me. I think this makes his general worry stronger than mine.
After 2 inductions and seeing how the hospital procedures led from one problem to another, especially with our son, my husband was all for a homebirth. He had his concerns about problems occurring but the midwives went over their transfer protocol and how emergencies are handled and that eased his mind. A midwife knows when to say when and they want the best outcome for mom and baby 🙂
Six years ago, I decided to see an widwife instead of an OB. I had not decided if I was going to have my baby at home or in the hospital, but was leaning towards a home birth. It was my first child, so I wanted a “natural experience”. I had decided on a home birth but when I went into labor, I backed out, deciding to go to the hospital. I was in labor for 22 hours, pushing for 4 hours. The midwife kept assuring me that time was not an issue and that I needed to be patient. My mom started to notice something was not right on the HR monitor. She demanded an OB come see what was going on. The OB came in and within minutes my baby was out via emergency C-section. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck many times, causing lack of blood to his brain and causing him to become stuck.
Thank goodness my baby was just fine.
I have a friend who just had her first baby. While in labor, her water was broke for too long (she was birthing at home with midwife). She ended up, after 27 hours, having her baby at home, then being rushed to to Hospital because she was gushing blood. She lost her Uterus (even more horrible because this was her first baby and she wanted more ) and almost lost her baby from infection (he was in the NICU for 19 days due to infection from water being broken too long and she was in ICU for 8 days).
I am having my second baby in 2 weeks. I have happily scheduled a C-Section with the OB who delivered my first.
It doesn’t matter how you birth your baby- as long as they are healthy.
Congratulations! I hope your birth goes perfectly. I just wanted to say something about gestational diabetes. I had it with both of my pregnancies and I didn’t have any symptoms and did not fit the risk profile in all the books. I was 25 when I had my first baby, not overweight, no history and still had GD. I had it with both of my pregnancies and it was harder to control with my second. The only reason I am posting this is because I was totally surprised by having it and really had to work hard to control it. I am cautious about my children’s diet since they have a higher risk of developing Type 2 diabetes now as I am cautious about my diet and weight since I am also at risk for Type 2. I don’t want to scare anyone I just wanted to put that out there since I was so surprised when I found out I had it. I wish you a speedy labor and a healthy little girl!
I really enjoyed this post! We have had all 6 kids at home and every one has been a wonderful birth experience. The last 5 I have had water births. The water is my “pain killer”. We use Samaritan Ministries instead of health insurance (Have you ever looked into that? We have been with them for all of our marriage and have never had to pay for a birth because they waive the normal $300 deductible if you have a home birth.)
I love these stories, thanks for sharing! I’m 25 weeks along with my second, and I’m sort of wishing I’d researched this for myself at the beginning, and maybe made the decisions to do a home birth (although I’m pretty sure it would freak my husband out…I must consider his feelings as well!). I use a team of midwives through a clinic, and had my first in a hospital, but with a midwife, and I loved it. I had planned to avoid the epidural, but I found I was completely unprepared for the level of pain (I was induced due to low amniotic fluid; I’ve been told pitosin contractions are worse, but I have nothing to compare them to, so who knows!) and I found myself becoming really fearful every time the second hand on the clock rounded the corner to the next contraction. I would really love to try to skip the epi this time around; I really want to know what it’s like medication-free. How does one prepare for it? I don’t mean to scare any first-timers here, but it really did feel like someone lit my uterus on fire and then wrung it out like a wet towel every contraction. What are some coping mechanisms that ladies here have had success with? I want to be brave, but I’m getting scared already with still 15 weeks to go.
I don’t know if you really *can* prepare for the pain. I had my first in a hospital with minimal pain medication. My second I had planned on an epiduaral because I didn’t want to be in pain again. I got to the hospital and out she came. There was no time for anything at all. The pain was unbelievable, but it was short-lived and soon forgotten 🙂 I felt a million times better after my med-free birth than my first semi-medicated birth. I found just focusing on one thing and BREATHING! Good luck to you!
@ Sarah, I have had 4 births, two induced and two not. The inductions cause massive contractions right off. Double peaks and come on fast. I opted for epidural quickly with those. The other two came on by themselves. The contractions slowly get larger and stronger thus giving you a build up instead of being broadsided with massive contractions that peak off the paper. One crowed with no epi. Crowning is the most painful part. My aunt coined it ‘The Ring Of Fire”. But you are so close! So you PUSH and it’s done.
Coping – music, water, walking, swaying – not laying! Did I mention water? Anything that you find calming. I’ve always wanted to look into hypno birthing to at least use the calming and relaxing methods, but I never have thus far. I’ve heard great things about that.
This birth for #5 I plan on no inductions and no epi. I wish I could have her at home, but DH wont have it. At 26 weeks, I think I’ve run out of convincing time.
pitocin is like the ‘fires of hell’! It is much easier without that stuff. and with 3 kids who came fast and 3 that didn’t, i have had with and without an epi. i personally like the epi but more power to the mama who chooses not to… what ever makes mama happy! because if mama aint happy…..
Sarah, I was induced twice and then had a HB. The pain does not compare. Being able to move freely and get into whatever position my body told me to really helped me cope. Laying in an uncomfortable hospital bed daring not to move because it would bump a monitor loose and trying to cope with strong unnatural contractions isn’t fun at all.
If you are local I recommend Zenana and the classes they offer.
Wow I commend all of you who were able to do all natural home births! I just had my first baby 2 1/2 weeks ago with an epidural at the hospital. From stories I have heard my birth was very easy compared to most first times. I did most of it at home, was 8 cm by the time we got to the hospital, but I don’t know if I could have handled the pushing without drugs! The nurses even said to me you’ve made it this far are you sure you want the drugs and I said absolutely lol! He did come out easily though, only 45 min of pushing! I can also see some financial benefit to this since it cost us $3500 total to have him with insurance (makes me very jealous of those who qualify for OHP). I don’t know if I could do a home birth with any future babies, but the stories are very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing! We’re preparing for a future first pregnancy, and though I don’t think I’d opt for home birthing, I am strongly leaning towards a water birth (we have that at my women’s clinic- lucky!). I’d love to hear a little more about that aspect of your birthing! I’ve decided that I am likely more scared of needles than the prospect of natural child birth, and sitting in a tub of water sounds nice, but I’d love to hear how that actually works out for going through the birthing process! 🙂
I love that you said “I am likely more scared of needles than the prospect of a natural birth”. I have had all of mine natural, 3 out of 4 at home. And have been told numerous times how STRONG I must be. LOL. Can NOT tell you the number of times I have told them, I am NOT. I’m a coward. I HATE needles. They and the fear of the unknown that comes with them, scare me WAY more then drug-free birth. That I know, I’ve done that. The other, tho almost irresistible the idea of a pain free birth, is still more terrifying to me. 😀
I’m the mother of 3, and have always been fascinated by the idea of midwifery and birthing at home, but sadly, I don’t seem to stay in the realm of low risk. I ALWAYS go into preeclampsia between 26-30 weeks, don’t drop, don’t go into labor. So, if you ever need advice about c-sections, I’m your girl. 🙂 I always begged to be let to go into labor, but I think if I was allowed to wait, things would have gotten really ugly! Thanks for sharing for a glimpse at someone else’s experience. It’s always a curiosity! BTW, my husband and I are the same height, and it is so depressing to pass him up! I had to come to grips with that too…and YES, the 200 mark is a bummer mark right at the end of it all! You made me smile…
Good luck, and may you have your baby girl in your arms soon…
Cristie, no woman has been pregnant forever. You never went into labor on your OB’s terms, not your baby’s terms 🙂 They know exactly how long it takes to come out perfect. Pre-e sucks, I’ve had friends battle it.
My older kids were present during the last two homebirths. The younger kids watched videos about it and were there too. I had pre-prepared foods for the days following. And Bobbi, I agree… water is THE way to go with labor… (Thank you Laura Hamilton)!
I had 6 of my 7 babies at home. The first was born in a hospital with a midwife. I would NEVER go back to the hospital for having a baby. It’s so nice to be able to actually sleep in your own bed with no nurses coming in ALL the time to check on you or baby. And I also liked that what I want matters at homebirth. At the hospital, they spoon-fed you into believing you could write out a “birth plan”, but when I actually came in for delivery, they were still calling all of the shots and doing what they wanted, even though it was not what I wanted. A note to those of you that are considering homebirth–I don’t care if you are in your own bathtub–WATER IS WONDERFUL! I didn’t actually push them out in there, but I labored in the water and it is, for me, 95% magically effective at relieving labor pain (until you get out, and then, OH BOY!)
Hooray for another home birther!!! I have had 2 babies at home with the same midwife and just today had my first prenatal visit with the same midwife for my 3rd baby. Thank you for sharing your story so others can learn and ask questions. I also LOVE LOVE LOVE your disclaimer about not caring how other people chose to birth. I feel like when I tell people I home birth they instantly get defensive but I really don’t care what choice others make for themselves….All I care about is my own birth and I trust that my midwife’s training and years of experience will guide me to that. I am very happy that there are hospitals and very well trained doctors to help me birth if something should happen.
What a topic… I’ve had 4 births 2 in Portland and 2 in small town America. All births I had insurance and regular doctor care. The 2 Portland births were like a party, my doctors knew what they were doing and arranged everything. Very simple but well planned births. Small town births, same medical care but the doctors and staff aren’t up to par, both births were traumatic. One, epidural didn’t work, the baby was crowning and they told me to hold on (15 minutes), the nurse tried to IV wrong meds, gave shots in wrong spot, it was…quite the experience. The second can only be described as a violent birth with all the medications, misinformation and lack of doctor presence, shortly after the hospital stopped doing births. Having gone through the last two experiences, even with insurance, a home birth would be much more peaceful and much less healing time, especially with help as has been described here. All the hospitals offered a follow up visit at home, but you have to sign away your rights for it. I agree, if you can home birth, do it.
My home birth question: What does your family (other kids) do while you are in labor? Are they around, and if so, how do they respond? Who feeds your family that day, and the next? Do you cook? Does your husband? Do people bring you meals?
Megan, some kids watch, some go elsewhere, and some sleep through it – #3 was born after 9pm and my older two had gone to bed and missed it all (hard sleepers). My oldest was excited as could be to meet her baby sister in the morning – the last thing she remembered from the night before was the sound of the pump blowing up the pool *lol* Meals – I prepared some beforehand and made sure the fridge was stocked so hubby could keep everyone happy. Consider asking for restaurant gift cards if you have a shower, those are a lifesaver 🙂
Such good questions, Megan! I’ll add them to my list.
Megan, I had 3 homebirths too. We decided to have our kids go to a friends house for the day. With our 2nd, my daughter was only 17 months. Friends took her for the entire day. With our 3rd, a friend took them for the day but when bedtime rolled around my husband when and fetched them. They came home and played with my dad in the living room (I was in the bedroom). Then when baby came we all got to be together.
My mom and dad were there for both births. My mom was in the room with me and my dad hung out and watched TV with my husband when things were slowly moving along. Everyone was free to do what they needed.
My mom cooked and took care of us. My husband pitched in as well but my mom loves to cook and take care of people so it worked out great. People brought us meals when my mom left to go home. I also had a few freezer meals stored up just in case.
We’ve started with homebirthing four times, though I ended up being transported for two.
For the birth of kids #2 and #3, we sent the bigs to someone else’s house once my labor had kicked up enough that it was annoying to have littles in the house. We had pre-arranged places for them to go and also arranged for someone to take #1 to a wedding he was in a couple hours after #3 was born. 🙂 In both cases, people kept them for one or two nights after our baby was born.
Our bigs were 9, 7, and 4 when #4 was born and we were willing to keep them home, but had someone ready to take them if I changed my mind or needed to transport. The birth of #4 was the first time we’d had kids around during labor and it was totally fine. They checked in on me periodically, but otherwise just went about their business. As it turned out, I labored all evening/night and transported in the morning, so someone came to hang with the kids when my husband and I left.
Our church always provides a ton of meals, as do other friends who don’t attend our church. On nights that meals aren’t provided and I’m unable to cook, my husband & kids do it.
Wow! I am impressed! I don’t think I would be so daring. I had twins, so they don’t even want you to try and deliver in the room – just in the surgery suite in case of emergencies (and my darling daughter made the first DRAMATIC entrance of her life there… certainly not the last drama she has performed). I wanted a hospital delivery and pain meds in any case, but my sister went all natural. She is so proud of herself for making it through, and I hope yours is wonderful as well. Good luck!
I’m part of a group online regarding birth and a mom had twins today at her home – over 40 weeks, in the water, and they came fast.
i am the sister-in-law angela was talking about and mine came FAST too! I loved it. The first twin beat the midwife. 🙂 My husband saved him from the toilet. We love that story! I love giving birth at home and I respect any woman who gives birth anywhere!
Angela, thank you so much for sharing your reasons! I’m a big fan of your blog and always appreciate the work you do in helping others develop a more frugal lifestyle.:) As for birth, I’m considering a homebirth for my second baby(my first was at Legacy Good Sam, I was induced, and had an epidural) but don’t really know how and where to start looking since there seem to be so many options here in Portland. Did you have referrals from friends and/or family or did you just start your search online? Thanks kindly, Michelle.
Michelle, just start calling and interviewing them. I live west of Portland and ended up with a MW team from Portland, they had quite the trek out here. You want to find someone you really mesh with because you will spend a lot of time with them, unlike an OB. I had a MW, her assistant, and an apprentice at my appointments and births, always a party of sorts.
A friend birthed at Andaluz, I used Alma Midwifery, Carol Gray I know through CST teaching, and there are many more. Birthingway College is the local midwifery school and they have a list of midwives and such. There is also an Oregon Midwifery council that has listings.
Thanks for the tips Kirsten! 🙂
Two of our four were born in the Portland area and we used A Gentle Beginning each time. A different midwife attended each of those births and I ended up being transported for one, but both experiences were positive and I highly recommend them.
http://www.agentlebeginning.com/
@Jaz – I’m not Angela, but I’ll chime in with my experience. We have four kids and have always homebirthed … except for when we didn’t. 😉 I ended up being transported with our first and fourth and my midwives (different ones for each birth) were fantastic.
Yes, they monitor the baby’s heart during contractions, but what they do with that info will depend on the situation. Maybe the mom needs to dig down deep for a few pushes and just get the baby out. Maybe there’s something more serious going on and you need to be transported. If you’re looking into homebirth, then ask your midwife how often they transport, how they decide when to do it, which hospital you’d be transported to, if there’s a particular OB they work with, what equipment and meds they have at your home, etc.
My husband drove during both of my non-emergent, but not-so-comfy, transports and one of the midwives was in the car with us . One of my transports resulted in a vaginal birth, the other in an emergency c-section. Many in the homebirth crowd feel disappointed or like they’ve failed if they end up with a hospital birth, and even moreso if the the baby comes via a scalpel, but I’m totally fine with how all four of our kiddos arrived.
I love, love, love birthing at home and would never choose something different. At the same time, our hospital experiences have been positive and I’m so very thankful that there are people trained to deal with births that can’t happen at home.
I am about 29 weeks along and wanting to a natural birth at the local birthing center here in central WA. I”ve love the midwives so far. But this is my 4th child, with the 3 before having come via induction. Any books or things to help get an idea of how things will go as far as pain, getting through contractions etc etc? Would love to find any info out!
I would suggest doing some research on Lamaze’s website. They have great suggestions for having a “normal” birth. Most importantly, be confident in your body’s natural abilities, and allow labor to happen as it comes (inductions, unless absolutely medically necessary, are never recommended!).
Birth Without Fear is a wonderful blog full of information and great stories.
Look into Lamaze, Hypnobirth/Hypnobabies, Birthing From Within, Bradley.
The one thing I’ve heard over and over is that contractions are you and they are not stronger than you are 🙂
I wish I could convince my husband. Alas, when its our turn (not yet!) I will be using a birth center and a midwife!
I almost cried the day I tipped 200 with my first babe. I was only there for like 3 days, but I will always remember it. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing your story. Both of my deliveries were at the hospital and neither one went as planned, although most importantly, both babes are out of me and healthy. However, knowing what I know now, I might have researched home birth and looked into it a little more. Best of luck to you, can’t wait to see her!!
I am talking to husband man, one question that comes up is this,
when I was having our baby last october, during contractions my baby’s heat beat went down a bit but would always go back up, the cord was wrapped around his neck, does the doppler keep track of the heart beat during the pushing, and if either mom or baby needs surgical help how is the respocne time? is that planned for?
I had some other issues that I needed help with my husband pointed out, but then I pointed out they were direct results/side effects of medications given to me at the hospital, that in theory if it had been a home birth I would not have been given in the first place.
Many babies have the cord around there neck and the HR dropping and then returning to normal, is well, normal. Constant fetal monitoring can lead to more problems than it prevents – people become wrapped up in the monitor and not the process. A misplaced monitor can pick up mom’s HR and not baby’s, giving a false reading. When I was pushing my MW checked the baby’s HR twice but otherwise left baby and I to do our own thing.
It is possible that some of the other “issues” that happened during your birth are a result of the actions of others. Cascade of interventions is one term used. Get a hold of your birth records and talk with a MW and go over what happened.
I was induced with my first two babies and the second one had breathing issues – something the hospital made seem worse than it actually was. Nothing was wrong with him, he was just born fast, and a bit shocked, it took him longer to breathe. They whisked him away ASAP and it took 4 days to get out of the hospital with him. My third was born at home and slow to breathe too but we rubbed her and talked to her and left her cord intact and she finally took her first breaths when she was ready.
Competent MWs know when to say when and transfer to a hospital, before it is a real emergency. They come equipped with a lot of gear for dealing with mom and baby in case a problem arises – I wish I had a picture of all the stuff set up on my TV console.
I will would love to respond to this twofold.
First I have 4 children and 3 were born at home. You would be amazed at all the “stuff” they bring with them, your room becomes a mini hospital. With my second son and first home-birth, I had to have some pretty major stitching and was able to have it all done there as well as my after care. woohoo!
Second, my husband is a volunteer medic/fire fighter and has responded to home birth calls. A midwife will not hesitate to make a call if one is warranted. And indecently the calls he has gone on for home-births had nothing to do with having the birth at home. Would have needed additional care if born in hospital too. And having had 3 at home, makes him feel extremely comfortable on these calls, unlike many of his fellow responders. 🙂
Would of loved a home birth and begged my husband but have had 2 hospital births so far and very glad since both babies had to be NICU’ed within the first hour for blood sugar issues. Guess we will be sticking with the hospital for now but maybe someday…
Congrats! How exciting. I was able to have a midwife as well but she delivered my daughter in a hospital. I felt so blessed to have her. I am starting school in October at a school here in SE Portland to become a labor Doula. I can’t wait!!!! I love how Oregon has so many options for women when it comes to birthing choices. Good luck and you look amazing!
I had my first at home and was all set to do it again when we discovered I am having twins! WA laws don’t allow twin homebirths. I’m glad you had such a great experience. We chose homebirth for all the reasons you listed.
Bummer about Washington! My sister-in-law gave birth to twins at 37 weeks at home, but she’s in Oregon. I like that there’s a bit more flexibility in Oregon’s homebirth laws.
Currently overdue with my 2nd child and am very much looking forward to the full midwife experience but couldn’t bring myself to do it at home. I had my first with a family doctor without too many drugs and I’m setting my sights on that birth high. Wish I had the home aftercare package. Thanks very much for sharing your story.
I really enjoy your posts! I had both mine at the hospital and would have really liked to experience something like this, but think I was too afraid of “something going wrong”. I wish I had done home births now. Look forward to the next post!!
I’m definitely one of the “curious” ones 🙂
I had my first baby in the hospital with a doctor and all that and had a less than desirable experience. This time around I am going g the midwife/homebirth route. I am both excited and a bit anxious about it. I love reading “real” yet happy stories about homebirths. Thanks for sharing!
We homebirthed baby #3 and after that there is no going back to a hospital birth, emergency being an exception, and we’ll gladly pay to have the experience again. It was freaking AWESOME and I’m still on my birth high a year later 🙂
Baby #3 had her hand on her cheek and I had a “rug burn” from it 😉
Angela, check on Facebook for a group called Haves and Needs – it started on the Westside but an Eastside group started. Someone probably has some maternity tops to pass on – free.
Ah, so, so jealous right now!! If only I were brave enough to have a third baby (we do make cute ones, ya know), I’d totally do a home birth.
I love this, thanks for sharing! Not grossed out in the least. Had my first baby unmedicated in a hospital with a fabulous midwife (who let me pull her out myself once head/shoulders were delivered –that was awesome). But I never realized the level of postnatal care that homebirth midwives give; that is wonderful, if just for the nursing help alone. I paid a lot $$ to have a lactation consultant come visit me at home because every time I drove to the hospital LC, the nursing session went perfectly…babies behave differently at home. Just like when you take your car to the mechanic. Would have been nice to have that expense included. Good luck with your birth!