I was just wondering at what point in my life will spaghetti dinner not end like this:
Yes, I always start spaghetti dinners with, “All boys, remove your shirts!”
Just a hilarious smile:
And I wanted to fully capture the rug burn Matthew got yesterday when he fell off the slide at church. Apparently cheek first.
I need your input (this is totally non-deal related): Sometimes when people find out I have 4 children they ask, “You know how that happens, right?” I am always polite, but inside I’m totally offended. I just can’t put my finger on why. Any ideas?
And yes, I am asking this question partially because I want to read your hilarious responses. But the question really does bug me. If you’re reading this and you’ve asked parents with young children this question, please stop. We don’t think it’s funny.
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I have 5 kids and get that all the time. I generally say, “No I dont, why dont you explain it to me!” Usually shuts em up real quick!
Oh Angela, I am so sorry that comment hurt your feelings, I know I have said it to people sometimes since so many crazy things come out of my mouth! My dream was to have a BIG family, at least 5+. However, I didn’t meet my wonderful husband ’til we were in our late 30s, and then discovered I was infertile. After tens of thousands of dollars of fertility treatments, 4 miscarriages, but one precious son, I would KILL to have 4+ kids. I do say stupid things sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I would EVER look down on anyone with a big family, that’s exactly what I want! I hope I always end those conversations telling mothers of many children how blessed I think they are . . .
Your boys are SO CUTE!! I have a 3 and 6 year old that look quite similar to your cuties. Great idea about no shirts for spaghetti. I don’t get the comment you get though…do they mean to say that you should be using birth control or something?? At parent-student lunch the other week my son’s friend’s mom was there with her 3 other kids (4, 6, 9 mo & 2). I said wow, you have a whole herd!. I then back-tracked and said, they are so adorable. She just kind of smiled like, you have no idea lady. Was that offensive? I kind of wished I wouldn’t have said it now. And will never make anymore comments on moms with lots of kids I guess. I have said in the past stuff like, “wow, impressive” or “how do you do it? I can barley manage my two” but mostly just “wow”. Is that rude too? Thanks for enlightening on the subject!
While there are surely those who make those comments arrogantly and in a rude fashion, I believe that for the most part, as Kathi said, it is just a comment used as a joke or an icebreaker, not something meant to offend.
I’m surprised at all the comments putting down others with less children. I have 2 boys and know with all my heart that if we had more I would love and cherish each one, our life would adjust occordingly and they would never be a regret or a burden. But for now, my husband and I choose 2. That does not make me better than anyone with more kids, nor does it make me deserving of comments that I am selfish or uncaring. Parenting is the most rewarding and challenging job God can ever bless us with, no matter if we have 1 child or 15.
Don’t mistake those comments made to be rude as comments made to just start a conversation with you. Smile and make a friendly joke back knowing that this person realizes God blessed you with more because he knew you could handle it- even on the bad days. Don’t harbor resentment towards everyone noticing your kids and choosing to acknowledge your bounty. Some people can be rude but most just need someone to talk to at that moment. We all need eachothers support no matter how many kids are in the family.
I agree with Jennifer, it’s just a comment or even an icebreaker. I can barely keep up with my 2 so I am always amazed at those that have more. Now that mine are older I do wish I would have had more, but at the time there was NO WAY!! Sadly mine are getting close to leaving home. So no matter how many you have, hug them lots….like everyone says, it’ goes fast.
If you think having a lot of kids gets strange questions try having 4 and then adopting. That really throws them off. LOL
We have 5 sons, ages 18, 18, 14, 9, 5. Aside from people wondering if we’re going to try for a girl (that was never a goal) or snooping about our religious heritage (no, we’re not Mormon or Catholic) the one that gets me is “Wow! I’m glad it’s you and not me!” to which I like to reply, “Me too!”
I had twins in April, my first children after numerous bouts of in-vitro. Although I get the “looks”, the “wow, double trouble” and the “oh my you must be so busy!”, I don’t take it to heart because I am so thankful that I have them for someone to comment about. I realize that people’s comments may seem intrusive to most, but feel blessed that you so easily had the wonderful children you have and most the time people are impressed with you, not meaning there comments in a derogatory manner.
I too have 4 kids all really close in age. They are now older 17-10 1/2 years. I used to get that comment all the time. The best response I found was to say “YES,” with a super cheesy grin on my face. They are the ones who are instantly embarassed. Enjoy the spaghetti moments because those will be gone before you know it
We have 4 kids also and got that comment a lot. I always would look at the person and and say “yeah, we don’t have cable.”
I have 5 kids… 3 of them are triplets, so I totally hit the baby jackpot. All before I was 30 (I was 28 when the triplets were born). I have heard it all!! There is always some need for someone to comment on the number of children you have or whatever your particular situation. Mostly I can understand that people are just curious– You know, because so many people have never seen “real live triplets.” But sometimes it gets annoying. Especially when we are in the grocery store and I have a very limited amount of time to get the shopping done with happy children.
It does make me sad however, when people say things that seem rude… we have become a society that seems to view children as an inconvenience rather than a blessing. I’ve gotten so many comments like, “Glad it’s you and not me”, etc… Well, me too! Even though it’s definitely a difficult road to travel, I know that children are ALL a gift and blessing from God.
In fact, we believe that so strongly, that we want to adopt a couple more. =) I cannot WAIT to go to the store with all of those kids and hear what people have to say about that. Especially if our adopted kids don’t “match”.
I have 6 children. Everytime I leave my home at least one persons will make a not so nice comment, such as: are those all your children?, Do they all have the same dad?, You know what causes that right?, (and my favorite) If you were my daughter we would be having a serious conversation about this in the back room. Whatever that one means. My life is filled with blessing From our Creator Jesus! If you simply look at life a realize what a gift it is, then you too will look at children as a blessing and not a curse. I hope God will bless me with more!
People who make comments upon how many children a person has are just plain rude and ignorant..it isn’t their family and their business. Now if you are not married and have no visible means of support that is another story, but you sound like a sweet happy, Mom who adores her kids and provides the best as you possibly, can..I enjoy your blog and keep up the great work you and your hubby, you are an example of what a wonderful Mom can be!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Three’s a lot of work. What’s one more?
OR
ODD numbers are bad. Make it an even 4.
OR
Are they actually wanting to know if you KNOW how this happens. If you’ve had “the talk”?
??????
I have three kids and when I was pregnant with number 2, my cousin’s wife told me, “I’m sorry!” She then proceeded to walk off. Wow! Never expected that!
I have five children and turned 40 just last September a month after our youngest was born. I had my first child at 30 and I *think* I know how babies are made 🙂 I do get the “you must be busy” a lot especially when I go to the store and they aren’t behaving properly. I actually have received an unkind comment via my husband from my MIL about how I shouldn’t have any problem raising 5 children and she only had two boys. I consider them a blessing and a gift that I am still trying to figure out how to raise them to know God and respect others (especially their siblings). I can’t imagine my life without any one of them.
Wow, never been asked but I do get a lot of “you look busy or you’ve got your hands full”. If someone had said that to me I would just reply” Yes I do know, and I am very thankful for soon many sunshine’s in my life.” I am 23 and have three (4, 3, and 2). My trick is to act like I’m too busy for anyone with that kind of outlook. With the kids I can look busy pretty fast.
We have 5 sons, two 19 year olds (one is a cancer survivor), one 18, one 16 and our special package who is 9. People I think are just curious. I don’t take offense, be grateful that God chose you to bless with becoming a mom. What an honor! When people would make snide or rude comments, I would always smile and say, yes they are all mine and my husbands, no we are not mormon (no offense to anyone out there), no we are not catholics, again no offense, we are simply passionate protestants who feel very honored to raise these guys. Honestly would shut people up right away! What more can they say?
Oh how I can relate. I turn 30 this year, we have 5 kids, (8.5,7,6.5,3.5,9m) one adopted from Ethiopia, and that seems to REALLY throw people. I do get a kick outta throwing out their ages though, people just stare and say “So wow, you have 5 kids?’ Like we regret it or something?? Good grief! I do usually play along and say “Ya know after the 3rd we figured out what was causing it, but we can’t really put a stop to that right?” I think it’s a generational thing, it seems to swing back and forth, families with 10kids, then families with 2-3 kids, then back to 4-5 or 6, then back down or whatever. It seems to cycle (or maybe that’s just my imagination?) Anyways, we are havin a blast with our kids and give people who only have 2 a hard time….(usually friends) they will say “Oh I’m going crazy, I can’t get out of the house” So I’m like “Yea try takin 5 coupon shopping….” and they usually shut up! Works like a charm! :).
Love the shirt off idea….my husband would love it if that was a family rule- adults included…oh wait THAT’S why we have 5 kids….
I think they ask because they realize 4 can be a handful and are amazed that you can handle it. It is just a joke/icebreaker. Try not to take offense. I know, easier said than done. Just because they think 2 is the perfect number doesn’t mean it is for everyone. Seriously, you know how it happens, right? 😉
I think I don’t get the, “You know how that happens, right?” question, because instead I get the, “Are those yours? Are you the nanny? How old ARE you?” questions. I have 3 boys, (4.5, 3, 1.5) and while I will be turning 30 this year, I know I look like I’m 20. I try to take the compliment buried inside the strange question and enjoy the fact that I look young!
And my response to any question on where my kids all came from is the same… “My momma always said it’s from holding hands… so we stopped doing that.” 🙂
OMG! I’m so glad someone else is in the same boat as I am. I have 2 boys that are 12 months and 5 days apart (yikes), and people always look at me weird. I’m pushing 5 feet tall- going on my 30’s, and people ALWAYS look at me like I’m 16-20 yrs old. Friends say things like, “Oh I WISH I had that problem!” or strangers will say… “Oh, you were busy” (when they find out that the boys are 1 year apart) as if they’re insinuating something…… I just WANT to say, “It’s not that obvious, is it?” 😀
I usually just respond “I’m not concerned with where they have come from…I’m concerned where they are going. Have you seen my other two kids?”
That’s really funny.
LOL! Love the pictures…we had spaghetti last night too! We also have 4 children (a girl and 3 boys!); I think people make comments like that because they didn’t/don’t want children (or not more than is convenient), and they actually have a tad bit of guilt in their heart over their self-centered-ness…so they try to pin on others that they’re dumb.
I always just laugh off the “do you know where they come from?” comment, but my husband plays right up to it with a deadpan “No…could you explain it to me??” followed by a long silence! 🙂
I wouldn’t say that people who don’t have/want children or who have less than 4 are self centered…
Way out of line, Bronwyn. You have zero idea what goes on in this childless home.
I am so sorry! I in no way meant to say that people who don’t have children are self-centered. People don’t have children for many reasons, but when perfect strangers make insulting comments about other people’s children, I usually think there must be a story there and something that is gnawing at them.
Maybe not…maybe they are just trying to be funny. And should stop.
Again, I apologize.
1 – Your boys are completely adorable.
2 – I will definitely start taking my son’s shirt off; if an experienced mom says it’s okay, I can do it. Haha! I always wondered if other moms would think I was crazy if I started feeding my 15 month old shirtless!
3 – These responses are great. People are just so strange these days. Do they not realize that some of us actually love children and being moms? I only have one, but I don’t intend to stop here. Being a mom has made me someone I’ve always wanted to be.
Lastly, I love your blog. It’s so inspiring, funny, and relateable.
Oh I love your comment “Being a mom has made me someone I’ve always wanted to be”. So true! Being a parent brings out the best (and sometimes the worst) in us, but it really reveals true character. It takes so much caring, compassion, generosity, patience and the list goes on and on..
“We do know how, and maybe you should try it. Could change your attitude.” I have three, one of whom has autism and is only 15 months older than the next. In fact, he had just come off of home oxygen at 6 months old when we got pregnant with #3. When asked if we planned it that way, I simply respond that God wanted it that way and I’m good with it. The baby also had red hair and looks just like Ron Howard did as Opie. I’m asked all the time where he gets his hair and I answer..”it’s Copper Canyon # 323. Check with your hairstylist.” People are amazing!
These answers are hilarious!
I truly think people just never know what to say in ANY situation regarding kids. We lost a baby before we had our now two-year old and people said the most ridiculous things. I would just smile and usually not respond.
I can’t believe people actually ask you that Angela! Why are people never content with the number of kids you have? If you had two, you’d hear different obnoxious comments. When did we become such a know-it-all society.. 🙂