I was just wondering at what point in my life will spaghetti dinner not end like this:
Yes, I always start spaghetti dinners with, “All boys, remove your shirts!”
Just a hilarious smile:
And I wanted to fully capture the rug burn Matthew got yesterday when he fell off the slide at church. Apparently cheek first.
I need your input (this is totally non-deal related): Sometimes when people find out I have 4 children they ask, “You know how that happens, right?” I am always polite, but inside I’m totally offended. I just can’t put my finger on why. Any ideas?
And yes, I am asking this question partially because I want to read your hilarious responses. But the question really does bug me. If you’re reading this and you’ve asked parents with young children this question, please stop. We don’t think it’s funny.
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That is hilarious!! My Grandma would make me change into an older shirt when we were going to have spaghetti or I had a light blue plastic smock with mickey mouse on it painting on a canvas I had to wear over my shirt. I would love to see that smock again, a lot of messy eating memories are involved wearing it 🙂
Why do people have such a hard time being polite these days? The pics are adorable.
Your boys look like they had a fun dinner. : )
Do any of you ladies know how to get a coupon for a rental car? If you do can you email me at Regionalparsvcs@aol.com.
Well, I was just about to Google it. Or you might be able to tell me?!
Only have two, but planning for more. So i am taking notes…
Slightly off topic: if anybody has an extra amazon diaper code please send it at mihaimirelaeunice@gmail.com
Thank you in advance.
Well from a mother of seven you need to take the wind out of their sails from the get go. when I only had four I would say when asked how many children do I have ” I have six!” and they would say , “REALLY” and then I would sayn “no, really I only have four” and that seemed to be the end of the conversation. On a couple of occasions when I felt really honory and was on child #4 and they asked if we knew what caused it, I would say “no – what? please tell me!” and that would normally shut them up too!
Glad to know that my family is not the only ones with kids who make a disaster of spaghetti. My girls are 3 and 4 and not only during spaghetti dinner nights do they just wear underwear to the table, but most of the time they eat dinner lol. Every kid I know does not make as big of a mess as my kids. We’ve taught them how to eat properly, use the right utensils, but they just go crazy if you blink or walk away or take a breath lol.
On the kid question- I’ve only got 2 so I don’t hear that a lot, but I remember after having my girls (13months apart), people would say the same “you know how that happens” stuff. Well duh I do lol.
I have 4 too, one boy and 3 girls! I always get comments like ” wow you’ve got your hands full” or “you’re in trouble when your girls are teenagers”. 3 of my kids are redheads so I often get comments about the “redheaded temper” too. I feel defensive too because my kids can hear all these comments and I worry about their feelings getting hurt. My youngest is only 4 months, but is the only one with brown hair, I anticipate lots of comments in her future about why she doesn’t have red hair!
As a mom of 9 I ought to add my two cents which with 3 in college currently is about all we have left:) How you answer such ill mannered people depends on your snap decision on whether you think they are worth educating or not. If they are not you say “do I know you?” in a haughty tone. If they are you can inform them you feel extraordinarily blessed! and go from there. Interestingly enough, I got more comments when I was expecting my third and fourth than later on. This was even true for my dad. Never did figure out why he was so elated when we had the last three all at once. By the way your kids are so lucky. Keep up the good work. The world will always need happy, well adjusted people.
I liked the reply I once heard a customer say at a store “No, it just keeps happening, and I can’t figure out WHY!”
There is also “Yeah, do you want one?” Which I bet would get a look that was worth every bit of your annoyance from their comment. 🙂
Someone mentioned above that people stare at her and her 6 kids in public…that might be me but I’m usually smiling and in ‘Awe’ of the mom who proudly has them in tow. I’ll keep that in mind that they might not know it’s in admiration. I have one boy who is 5 yrs old and one 21yrs old…I get some really crazy comments too.
Angela, your kids are adorable and I love seeing pics when you post them. 4 kids…that’s a lot of love running around that house! Good for you and your hubby 🙂
I only have 2 and I really haven’t gotten any rude comments, just people asking if we will have more. I come from 4 and my husband comes from 2. I think it’s strange that people think that 4 is a big family. I think what annoys me more is that everything thinks because you have multiple children, you must be on some sort of government program!
My husband’s coworkers all asked him if he was going to get fixed while we were pregnant with our second this past year. He was 25 at the time. We thought that it was the craziest question. Are we really limiting our lives before we have a chance to see what God has in store?
And I guess if I got that question, I might say, “People have told me it’s from sex, but that can’t be it. I’ve got four kids… who has the time?”
Cute pics. Cute kids. 🙂
A response I like which works for any rude remark is….why do you ask? Puts the burden of a response back on them.
2 Things:
First when I was pregnant with our third, I called my dad to tell him and HE asked me that question.
Second my brother and his wife have 4 foster kids and then 2 biological kids… they do not look like each other or my brother or his wife. She gets looks and questions all the time… She says with a great big smile loud enough for all the kids to hear “Yes that is right! They are ALL mine!!” I guess it is a bit different scenario, but kids are kids no matter HOW you get them… a blessing from GOD!
oops. I posted it twice! Sorry!
This is AWESOME! Michelle D, bethany and Jenny G’s comments are my FAVORITE! I have a 13 month old and one in the oven that’s due in March. People are always teasing me about how close together they are and its ANNOYING! They say “did you do that on purpose? You know what causes that right?” I think I’m just sassy enough that I might pull these retorts out next time!
It drives me crazy when people say that (we have 4). I also HATE, “Are they all yours?” When they ask if I know how “that” happens (referring to my children as THAT!) I like the answer, “yes, obviously we do it better than you!” I’m not brave enough to say that though, instead I answer with the truth and say, “yes, in fact I’m such a planner that I knew all of their due dates before they were even conceived.” That usually puzzles them long enough for me to get away.
Just tell them you can’t keep your husband off of you, then wink & walk away with smile on your face!!
I always strip my kiddos before spaghetti night too..so cute!!
Oh, that’s a good one too.
First, I LOVED seeing that i’m not the only one who takes the shirt off my son for spaghetti. Having 1 toddler means I’m mostly hoping I’m not weird!
I think any comment on numbers of children (in a non-appreciative way) is just not okay. We had trouble conceiving, and have friends who have not had that joy, or have lost babies, so the “when are you going to have kids” was really hurtful, and now we are SO thankful for the amazing kid we have, and now when I say we’re so happy with this one, we get “well, you CAN’T just have one!” or, “time for number 2!”
I’ve come right out and said to people, “well, some people aren’t able to have children”, or “we are so thankful to Jesus that we were even able to have just 1.” and a lot of times it has led to a meaningful conversation rather than a passing comment, and has allowed me to get to know someone a little better, and has (hopefully) helped them realize how a comment like that can be taken. Mostly, I just pray for them to be a bit more sensitive to others when they next might have an opportunity to make a comment like that.
To you moms of many children, I just think, wow, how amazing will it be to have them rise up and call you blessed one day, for all that you go through right now!
*Obviously* we know how. Are you blind?
Did you mean to say that out loud?
Why? You looking for lessons?
Do you make a habit of questioning people about their sex lives and fertility or did I win some random drawing?
FABULOUS!!!
HAHAHA! Great ones!
LOL!!
{Do you make a habit of questioning people about their sex lives and fertility or did I win some random drawing?}
hilarious!!!
Your boys are very cute, you should be one proud mama!! I have a 10 year old son and he still eats like that so I think you have quite some time before your spaghetti dinner wont end like that..lol!
At Christmas, we told my parents that number 4 was on the way and my dad asked me that exact question. I looked at him and said ‘No daddy, could you please tell me?’ He didn’t say anything else. Oh and from the inlaws we got ‘are you going to get fixed after this one?’ (which I’m glad we haven’t because I ended up MC at 12 weeks) We have a 10yr old and 8yr old that both have olive skin, dark brown hair and eyes and our 18mo old has very fair skin, blonde with blue eyes…oh the looks we get. He looks nothing like any of us.
It’s so sad that the world has gone so upside down that nobody considers children a blessing from the Lord any longer.
I have a friend with 5 children that replies, “Wow, and you only have 2. I think you should have more.”
Ah, yes. I get that ALL the time!! Or, they say, “Aren’t you going to go for your girl?”
We just had our 7th three weeks ago, so I hear you. (We thought we were “done” at three, but the Lord changed our hearts.) People must think they are so original when they ask, “You know how that happens don’t you?” If they knew how many times I’ve heard it, they probably wouldn’t think they’re so clever. A friend of mine who has ten children responds this way: “Yep, that’s why we have so many!” Actually, I haven’t had a chance to use this line. I think people don’t bother us anymore because they think we’ve completely lost our marbles. So there is hope–just keep having more babies!
I have 4 also and can’t believe people judge us for our choice. I’ve always believed people can’t believe I can handle my 4 so well when they may only be able to handle their one or two (I’ve actually had people joke about this after they realize their statement was so rude) “I can barely handle my one.” My response after any comment about the size of my family is that we have been very blessed and that I’m one lucky mom.
On a side note my sister-in-law calls us the 6 pack and although she thinks we’re crazy I love the nick name.
When my husband and I couldn’t have one people would make comments like – you’re just not doing it right. Very funny. After 10 years, I’m sure we figured it out, tell that to my ovaries.
I get why it’s funny and I get why it’s rude. I tease one of my best friends about “knowing what she’s doing” because she’s on her fifth kid. Thank god she gets my sense of humor. 🙂 But I’m not a total stranger and would never dream of telling that to anyone that I barely or didn’t know.
I have three and I’ve been asked that a couple times. It was always by people I knew well and they were the kind of people who are always trying to say something funny. I don’t think they realized it was annoying. I just laughed it off and said, “Oh yes, we do!”
Next time say I’m not sure to what you are referring? Can you give me an example?
Seriously. So very rude. Then again it’s just as rude as asking a person with only one child if they are going to have more. HELLO! None of your business!
Your kids are precious. Every one of them.
Maybe you can say, “”Well, yes I know how it happens. Would you like me to explain it to you so you can have a ‘big’ family, too?”
What people SHOULD say instead of “do you know how that happens?” is, “You have four children? Wow, you are one lucky and blessed woman. . . and aren’t they adorable!”
I say, “no? why don’t you tell me?”
Shuts em up pretty fast. I have 5 kids. I think it bothers me becuase we’re not a freak show. And as a society have we so lost sight of family that a family of 7 is considered out of place? And really, if Im at the store with all 5 of my kids, PLEASE understand I don’t have the time – energy – or focus to deal with stupid questions.
Enjoy those messy spaghetti dinner faces. I swear my 14 year old was just that size yesterday! I’m actually missing those times!!
I would just ignore ignorant questions. Or come back with some sort of jaw dropping witty response. I have 3 and get asked all the time if I’m done.
My husband and I have dark brown hair. My 12 and 14 year old have a slightly lighter version and my youngest is VERY blonde. I get asked over and over again where he got the blonde hair from (not that it’s any of their business but believe it or not it’s from me!). Tired of the question, I just say “That’s something our family doesn’t talk about it” or my husband says “Well, our UPS guy is really blonde”. Shuts them right up!
My friend’s sister had two redhead kiddos. But mom and dad were both dark brown hair. The little girl went to get her hair cut and the beautician asked where she got her pretty red hair. The girl (3 or 4 at the time) goes, “Daddy says I get it from the mailman!” hahaha
Maybe they need a handout on genetics! haha
I was raised LDS, and I am one of 5. In some areas of the world ( a few states particularly), 5 is nothing!!! It would be more uncommon to see someone with 2 or 3 unless they are just starting out. It isn’t a “ruling” by any means, I am just saying that it is very COMMON to see. I think it is offensive because it is your children they are referring to. The ‘that” that they are referring to, is your kids! You should be offended to some degree. I don’t really know what to say either, so I am interested in the comments!
Such cute boys!!
You know, I guess I’m the odd one out here, I’ll go hide my face in shame, shortly. But I have a sarcastic kind of humor, I guess. I read that line and giggled . . . obviously you know a thing or two about how a baby comes about, and if you didn’t the first time, you sure do by the 2nd baby ;). Isn’t it more of them trying to be funny than an attack on how many kids you have? I had three kids really close together and had plenty of comments thrown my way, even one about how different one of my kids looked compared to the other (different daddy?). I found more often than not, most people were just trying to be cute and friendly. Of course, I’m not referring to that one lady, ohhh, we all know THAT one, who feels she must give her two cents about everything we do and what she thinks. Even that lady I just smile to and make sure my smile is extra big when my sweet little cherub gives her a peanut butter hands kind of hug. 🙂
I am the oldest of 4 and love it. I only have two of my own because my husband and I felt that is what was best for our family. But, it is up to each couple to decide that for themselves. No one else should have anything to say about that. I have lots of friends that have 4 kids. And they are all great families. One of my friends, when she was pregnant with her 4th, had a lady at Costco look at her rudely and say, “I suppose they all have different fathers.” WHOA!!!!
I am expecting my 6th in about 3 weeks and our oldest is 8. We can’t go anywhere without a bunch of comments, some really nice and some a little tacky. People openly stare when I am out with the kids or talk to the person next to them and point. Of course they are extremely cute so that may be why. 🙂 I have learned to not let it bother me, we will probably have more and then there will be no doubt that we are just crazy.
having 2 boys 9 years apart… I would much MUCH rather have it YOUR way Christy. Use all the diapers , crib, bouncy seat, high chair for as long as you can and get rid of it… haha
we had to re purchase most everything due to the 9 year baby drought here in our home…
just enjoy all your kiddos and smile and nod. I know several women with your same (or nearly same) family and I just offer to help with one or 2 if they would like a little time. (I have a 18 mo old and babysit a 3.5 year old so any extras here just make it easier and more fun for ME!)
kari
Punch them in the nose and then say, “do you know how THAT happened?”
Just kidding. I am one of four girls, 2nd to the oldest and I love them all and so glad my parents had each of us.
I am actually crying I’m laughing so hard, Jenny. Thank you.
This is, by far, the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while.
I’m in my office alone, laughing so hard I’m wheezing… people walking by are looking in, and I don’t care 😀
People ask insensitive questions… if it wasn’t about the number of kids it would be about something else. We aren’t able to have children and I’m asked all the time when we are going to start having kids. When I explain, the next question is “have you thought about adoption?” Like I had never heard of adoption… [eye roll] Before this it was “when ya’ gonna get married?” “Tuesday. I’m getting married, Tuesday. Do you know any single guys?”
Maybe when people ask if you know how it happens, you could look them dead in the eye and seriously say, “No. I don’t. I have been wondering, but no one wants to tell me. Can you explain it for me?” or “Yes. Sex, lots and lots of sex. S-E-X. I have sex with my husband, repeatedly.” or “Yes, I do. Are you wondering, because I have a moment to explain. You see a man and woman love each other very much, so they lie down in their bed together…” or just flip the table and make them feel awkward by pointing out how horrid that question is or ask if they know how they got that spare tire around the belly.
This is AWESOME Michelle! I have a 13 month old and one in the oven that’s due in March. People are always teasing me about how close together they are and its ANNOYING! They say “did you do that on purpose? You know what causes that right?” I think I’m just sassy enough that I might pull these retorts out next time!
Caitlin…that sounds like me! Our girl and boy are 15 months apart. We wanted them close. However, they were closer than we anticipated! By the time we started thinking about it, the first trimester was over. LOL! It’s been wonderful. Now we are contemplating over #3.
This response is awesome! LOL! I think you’re totally right about just saying it’s a horrid question! Like: “That’s a horrible question! Do you really think I’m so stupid that I don’t know how babies are conceived, or were you trying to point out which of these beautiful children isn’t worth raising?!?”
I love Bronwyns response. Seriously. The last part “which isn’t worth…”
I think that is the BEST reply to give.
kari
Just curious: is it generally men or women who say that? It does sound slightly rude to me.
females
full sympathy here, i have 6 kids. i did want to smack the teenager at jcpenny who was checking my stuff out at the register,( back when i only had 4 kids). she told me “well, i hope your done now!” as if anyone other than me has had to pay for them. And i have homeschooled, so have the joy of paying the taxes for school and then get to buy my own ciriculum. my girlfriend has 3 and says that the correct response is “oh, this is only a few of them, i have twice as many at home” she says that shuts them up.
People are just nosey. We have 8. I did not have 8 to shock and awe people. But they seem to think I did. (ugh!) When they ask if you know how it happens just get a goofy grin on your face and say ‘Yes!’ They will shut-up. Family planning used to be private, for some reason it does not seem to be any more. I used to have a link to a very funny page of such questions and responses, can not find it now. If I ever do I will send it your way!
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I had a friend who acted REALLY excited when she found out we had three and expressed that we should have more. I had to write her a little note when I got home thanking her for being excited about children. I don’t know how to deal with the offensive comments, but I definitely think we should tell people when we are thankful for their positive responses since they are few and far between. It was so refreshing to not be made to feel ashamed about having kids.
You’re offended because they are using your children as the basis for their attempt at humor. It is a natural reaction to be offended. With that said, a retort with a personal affirmation to yourself built into it would probably help your heart in those moments.
I know, not witty, but I can’t come up with witty right now.
When I was pregnant with #3 a single friend of my husband gave us a bag of condoms. Once I was thru giving birth to #4, My grandfather said, “so you’re done now.” Now that I have 5, I hear all the time, “WOW! Thats alot.” or the ever tactful “You’re done now right?”. Whenever I hear, “You know how that happens right?” I always say “No, I just can’t figure it out!”
That is SUCH a cute picture!
You have my sympathy on getting such an obnoxious question thrown at you. I don’t have any kids, and I am occassionally asked tacky questions about why I don’t have kids.
I totally understand why you feel offended. They are asking you a really condescending question, as if you are too stupid to use birth control, or don’t know how babies are born.
I think I would be tempted to look at them blankly and say, in a puzzled tone of voice, “No. How does it happen?” I would make sure I tilted my head to the side and looked completely clueless.
I don’t have children either and sometimes get asked if my “pipes” and stuff work. For some reason that doesn’t offend me. I guess because if you’re curious about something, I’d rather you just asked me about it than gossip behind my back.
What DOES infuriate me is when people respond to the fact that I don’t and likely won’t have children by saying, “Oh, you’ll be a great mom.” As if lack of confidence in my ability to raise children is the reason for my choice. I sometimes feel that my choice makes women uncomfortable because they have never thought of not having children as an option.
I’m still searching for the perfect response and will probably find it around the same time that menopause finds me. LOL.
I try to let it slide off my back, but people’s insensitivity and ignorance can be difficult to take at times.
I am the oldest of 4, 3 girls and the boy as the youngest. My mom said when she had him people keep telling her that she could stop now! I have two plan on prob on more, but since i have a boy and girl, people keep telling me “thats perfect! a boy and a girl!” umm okay? I don’t collect babies to put on display or something, lol! Whatever God has in plan for me is just fine!
I agree people just don’t think before they talk. I often have this problem too lol. 🙂
also funny: “I don’t collect babies to put on display or something, lol! “
My husband and I are each one of 4 children and it was perfect for our families. We just had our first but our ideal number would be 4. I guess you could always tell them that the Bible says to multiply and replenish the earth…I know there are people who have way more children than I could ever want or have. If you can give attention to 4 great, if you can get attention to 20 then so be it. It’s a personal thing, and it’s not up to every other person out there.
When did it EVER become appropriate to comment on someone’s family like that? We have one child, and the inquiries of a #2 are endless. It’s completely rude. I try to be pleasant when I reply “We’re so happy with the one we have!”, but I’m really thinking “what’s it to you?!”. Sheesh. We need to teach the next generation to MIND THEIR MANNERS! 🙂
I have to agree. It took us 8 years to get pregnant with our son; we were foster parents during those years to some pretty amazing kids. 9 years later and #2 Son comes along! We are so blessed. When people raise their eyebrows or comment on the age gap I just say “it takes me 8 years to make a perfect egg”.
When we first moved to our new home we were leaving church and a lady asked “how many kids do you have” and we said “Just the one ” (our foster son) she said “well you have to have 3 more cuz everyone here has 4. I cried for days. fertility hadn’t helped.
I am guessing that most people ask that due to the fact that they have kids and are jealous that you have more children than them and you seem completely fine/normal. One of my good friends has 4 boys and I am always amazed at how calm and cool she always is. I have 2 girls who are 13 & 15 and they still frazzle me. Most people that say stuff like that because they are jealous as they know that they couldnt handle it. Your offended because your thinking that they think you are stupid for having so many kids. But dont be offended, it is really their problem! Just smile and say what Heather above said to say. Wont they be embarrassed!!!??? 🙂
I am a mom of triplets and I am often asked about my fertility issues which I find to be very personal. It makes me feel as if I have to defend the conception of my children. Sometimes people just don’t think before they speak.
my boss has triplets and she posted it on her facebook. hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-lgB_HGEE
THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
I’m with Heather – if you have the courage that would be HILARIOUS!!!!
I would actually be very offended if someone told me that. We have two kids, and lost two during pregnancies so we would totally be happy with 4. My sister has 4 and I see nothing wrong with it. and the boys look adorable! I have so many s’getti pics like this lol. Thanks for sharing them!
I have 5 myself and people say that ALL the time, or when I was pregnant either of the last 2 times, I would get, HOLY COW!!! AGAIN??? if it is someone you dont mind offending right back, when they ask if you know how that happens, say, what can I say? I like sex!! if that isnt your style, tell them, how what happens?? please draw me a picture… I am a smart alec by nature and time and idocy has fine tuned it.. I have a hundred responses!!!
I have four also. When this first came up a few years ago on a parenting board one of the suggested responses was:
“Yes, and we REALLY love it.”
It shuts people up really fast. (Not that I am brave enough to use it!)
OMG Heather that is too funny – I <3 it
Heather…that is the funniest response ever! I love it.
I don’t have any kids yet, but I’ve been married for four years so I’ve been getting questioned about when we will start for…four years. I like to say, “I don’t know, but we tried five times last night!”. Same idea, pretty funny to watch em squirm ;p
that is what I was going to say!