%20Way%20to%20Cut%20Your%20Back-to-School%20Expenses%20(and%20teach%20your%20kids%20a%20valuable%20lesson%20at%20the%20same%20time!))
This is a re-post from a previous year.
According to the National Retail Federation, the average American family with school-age children will spend about $600 this year on back-to-school clothes, shoes, supplies, and electronics. They didn’t bother defining the “average” family, but I highly doubt my family qualified (and I can guarantee that couponers are anything but average).
Growing up, I was one of five kids. Five kids that needed new pencils and notebooks and shoes every September. Our family’s already tight budget was stretched to its limit every fall.
When I hit the ripe old age of nine, my mom came up with a brilliant plan. She scraped together the extra money in August’s budget, split it five ways, and handed each of us an envelope with our name on it: our own personal back-to-school funds for that year. One year it was $25. Another it was $50. Don’t feel sorry for me. At least I didn’t have to walk uphill both ways in the snow to school like some people. Oh, and one year… it was $100. $100! I felt like I’d hit the jackpot. I laid awake that night, mentally planning and spending every last penny.
Looking back now, I realize that some of the most powerful lessons I learned about money happened during those back-to-school shopping trips of my childhood. I learned how to budget and plan and spend wisely. I learned to see small budgets as a challenge instead of an embarrassment. I learned that this year’s must-have items are next year’s old news. I learned that my parents worked incredibly hard to provide for our needs, and that money doesn’t grow on trees.
Here are a handful of the other benefits:
It eliminated arguments over back-to-school wants vs. needs. School supply shopping is all fun and games. Until it isn’t. Then it often involves some combination of frustrated parents, multiple supply lists, and… children helpfully tossing random things into the cart.
My mom remembers wanting to give us new clothes and supplies every year, even though that wasn’t financially possible. I remember begging for things I didn’t really need, simply because it was on the shopping list. Instead of whining about what we wanted our mom to buy us, buying our own back-to-school supplies became a cool challenge.
It relieved my parents of the pressure to provide beyond their means. The five of us knew the rules of the game, and my parents enjoyed watching us play it. My mom claims we were better at it than she was. I just think that funding a personal challenge can be a very powerful motivator for a kid.
It helped us prioritize. We knew that covering the items on our school supply list was the first priority, then we could spend the extra money on clothes and shoes. We were free to supplement with our own money. By spending wisely in one department, we had more freedom in another. Why buy another locker organizer when that money could go toward a brand-new pair of stirrup pants? No brainer.
How could we buy what we needed for as little as possible? The shopping skills I learned all those years ago still apply today.
It made us more interested in reusing supplies. Who doesn’t love those shiny new back-to-school supplies? It makes last year’s model incredibly unappealing. However, when the money technically belonged to us, suddenly last year’s cat-themed Trapper Keeper would work just fine and the ruler we couldn’t find magically appeared and the gym shoes we thought were too scuffed up weren’t so bad after all.
I heard of a great idea to make this step like a scavenger hunt. Hand your kids their school supply list and see what they find in your own home.
So, if you have some basically responsible kids, and you are looking for ways to train them in personal money management, consider giving them a little more freedom in the school supply department this year. Set some ground rules, give them a budget, and watch them step up to the challenge.
After all, many of life’s most powerful lessons don’t happen in the classroom!
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So far, I don’t do the back to school clothing shopping thing much. I buy larger sizes at all of the end of season sales and store them in tubs. I’m learning, now that I have 3 in school( 4th, 2nd and kinder) and one more waiting in the wings (age 3), to reuse last years rulers, scissors, etc. I also stock up on the cheap items (less than $.50) so each year I have a surplus from the year before. However, I love the idea of giving my children the money and helping them use it wisely, so by the time they are old enough to shop on thier own, they know the tricks that stretch a dollar and aren’t afraid to use them! Love it!
Stir up pants… 🙂 Awww, back in the day!
We are one of those families that spend an average of $600 for each child on back to school. Our children are spaced out in age 19,10 & 5 so there are no hand me downs. (There is no way I would store their old clothes that long to give to the next sibling). Instead we donate all their old clothes to the Goodwill or Coats for kids. I didn’t grow up in a family that shopped at Goodwill or Garage sales, we weren’t rich but lived comfortably with a family of 9. Where one person may choose to spend their money maybe others do not. There are many other ways to cut down on expenses and still be able to afford to do”Back to School Shopping”.
There is always a plan to our shopping and we make sure and get the most bang for our buck. Examples would be earning some of the GC’s for our favorite stores by utilizing rewards from our credit card. I use one card all year long and use those bonus points to buy Gift cards to my kids favorite stores. I was able to pick up $250 in Free GC’s this year. I always make sure I shop a sale and use any other store discount that is available. If there is not an extra coupon available, we wait. When purchasing online I utilize the Shop at home program to earn cash back rewards. My Back to shool plan includes all School supplies, Coats, hats, gloves, shoes (1 black 1 brown 1 tennis and a new pair of winter boots) I don’t go cheap on my children’s coats and boots because winters are hard and there is no way I’m going to let my children freeze. Socks, undies, jeans, shirts, sweatshirts and sweaters, and of course a few dresses or skirts for the girls.
Since we budget our clothing allowance each month there is always the money readily available to use. If our children want something that I don’t feel is thrifty they are allowed to use their own allowance to pay the difference. They have an allowance of $5 a week $2.00 to save $1.00 to give and $2.00 to Blow. I have yet been able to get my children to use their “Blow money”. So I can guarantee that they know the value of money even with spending the $600 on each of them for Back to School.
Loved your post, Emily. I would echo a lot of what has already been said about reusing last year’s school supplies and only purchasing new clothes if absolutely necessary. I would be very surprised if I have even spent $600 total in back-to-school supplies in the 15 years of that season at my house! Hmm, now I am tempted to dig through budget archives to see (my sister might even tell you I still have the receipts)! Anyway, what I was most amazed about, was that your family had 5 kids. I know, I know, I grew up with one of your sisters, and I knew you were all in the family, but I just never counted you all up. Weird. The things you finally learn in adulthood…
Someone recently asked my kids if they had their new back to school clothes already. I was irritated. Then I was proud… my 9 year old son said, “I pretty much have enough clothes already.” Yes! Back to school shopping at our house involves buying the classroom supplies that we don’t have left from last year. Since I am a coupon observer – I observe others who are using coupons and occasional get into the game – I wouldn’t be be surprised if there are big clothing deals that we are missing. Ah well, something else to aspire to achieve.
My parents used to do the same thing. I am an only child so I got $100 for supplies and clothes. Since my mom was a couponer I used a lot of her coupons for the school supplies. Plus she used to stock pile supplies for my Dad (who was a teacher) so I could usually snag a couple things out of his pile. I learned a lot about money when I only had so much cash to spend. When I was in 5th grade my mom opened the ads and showed me how to match my coupon to it (there wasn’t an internet blog to check in 1989). Then we would hit Ross and Kmart for the cloths. In junior high and high school we would go into Bellevue or Kirkland and go to Goodwill sometimes I could find cheap name brand cloths. I joke now that my mom taught me how to be good at being poor.
Wonderful article and great ideas from all the comments! I grew up in a family of 5 children on a very limited budget. My Mom sewed a lot of our clothes and we passed down or bought used many other items. We were always dressed neat and clean!
One thing my parents did for us 5 kids when we were growing up is: When we got old enough to really want certain kinds/brands of clothing, my Mom would look up a pair of jeans in the Sears catalog and note the price for the basic item. That amount is what she would give to us to spend and we would have to come up with our own money to pay the difference for the specific brand we wanted. This really taught me to assess whether or not I REALLY wanted it that badly, and also made us take better care of our clothes that we had to purchase with our own hard-earned money. Good life lessons!!
THANKS to all our parents who taught us those great lessons!!
I love this! I’m one of 10 kids, so we didn’t get ANY back to school budget to speak of. Just a new pair of shoes and school supplies. The rest was hand-me-downs from friends! I actually had no idea we were poor, but I knew that my parents worked hard for their money and I didn’t want to feel like I was putting a strain on the finances, so I simply didn’t ask for anything. I’m HOPING my kids feel the same way. They don’t ask for much . . . probably because they know I’ll say no!
I haven’t started the “tradition” of back to school clothes shopping with my boys, and I’m hoping they won’t notice (ages 8 and 5). I buy them clearanced clothes (shorts and t-shirts) for their summer birthdays, and then garage sale the rest (jeans, sweatshirts, etc). It’s been working for me! Of course, I know that when they are teenagers they will notice that mom is cheap and might start complaining, but by then they will be buying their own clothes! 🙂
Having a boy also-this is my preferred way to shop, as it is always possible he will destroy it after barely wearing it and then I don’t have to get so upset!! He is 12 now & still fine with getting things from second hand stores, garage sales or hand me downs from friends. He is getting opinionated about colors somewhat now-but not brands.
I also get some items new that are marked way down-usually the end of season sales & buy sizes ahead & save them until they fit.
One more comment
AWESOME!!!!
I am trying to instill some of the basic pricipals of ‘things costing money’ to my 5 yr old
The other day he got a hold of some scissors and cut up some of his stuff. I found he cut up a pair of his underwear (exspensive little item) So I made him pay me for it. Telling him so I can have the money to buy him some more. He has his own penny jar, he likes to save. (takes after mom) to instill that things cost money I make him pay for the item. He will go to the store with me, to see how much it cost, and pay for the item. I will compensate the cost if the item is to much
When I was growing up, my mom never really took me back-to-school shopping, at least not for clothes, and while we weren’t rich, we certainly weren’t poor either. When we came home from school in June, all of our school stuff was pretty much put to the side, where it stayed, easy to find again come August. We took inventory of what we had (a lot!), and bought the rest (not much), and just wore the clothes we had in our closets already. When we needed something new throughout the year, we bought it then and not all at once at the end of summer. I admit to being jealous of some of the new stuff my friends had, and one year my mom did let me get a new back-to-school wardrobe. I felt so cool that year, but it wore off pretty quickly when all my new stuff wasn’t new anymore all at once. Plus, my clothes were all suited to fall weather and I had to get other stuff for the other seasons anyway.
I really think back-to-school shopping is mostly an invention of stores that play into our consumerist mindset. A ruler lasts a long time unless you break it, and when it breaks, you can buy a new one then. I will never understand the parents who buy their kids all new school supplies every fall instead of using what they already have and buying a few things here and there as necessary.
My mom did give me money for clothes at Christmas and my birthday because that’s what I asked for when I got older, and we would go on girl-day shopping trips to see how far my $ would stretch. But back-to-school shopping just didn’t happen at my house because it was seen as unnecessary, and my mom was never one to be swayed by fashion trends.
I was raised the same way and am teaching my son the same. My family is the same way in all areas of life-we use things until they are truly worn out-it amuses me sometimes when I see items in “antique” stores-like kitchen items-that my mom is still using-because it still works fine!!
My only concern is to consider the differing needs by age- a high school student may really NEED a graphing calculator for an advanced math class and the long-term benefits of the advanced math class may be worth having smaller budgets for younger children. I was the oldest of 4, and money wasn’t as tight by the time my youngest brother was in high school (and I was supporting myself)
Yes, needs and budgets definitely change with age. My mom was sensitive to that, and the budget was a bit more generous by the time we reached high school. But the same principles still applied, and we also had more of our own money to contribute by then.
I also do the envelope system with my girls 12 and 9.(Second year now) They have decided that they don’t really like hand me downs but with only $100, they definitely will learn that money doesn’t go that far with full priced clothing. I am willing to let them wear the same outfit a lot to teach that lesson. My hope is that Goodwill and garage sales will get cool again when the money runs out 🙂 Important money management skills indeed!
I think that’s the hardest thing as a parent, when you can and want to provide everything under the sun for your children but you want them also to learn to be responsible humans. I had seen too many kids that had parents with the means to provide for them, and although well intentioned, their kids were spoiled, bratty and thought the world owed them. My step daughter actually had an aunt that spoiled her, and I attempted to teach her about budgeting but she refused to listen. Now a stay at home mom who has to know about budgeting, she has admitted regret about not listening. She once said I now have Nordstrom’s taste and a Walmart budget, that was a hard lesson to learn as an adult!
While I could most likely have afforded the back to school shopping thing with my girls, I detested the societal push for back to school shopping for clothing items. It seemed that the girls would “lose” or outgrow things when they learned it “wasn’t cool” after getting to school, the crowds at the malls drove me/us insane and they would inevitably have some sort of meltdown during the weekends that we would try to cram it all in. So one year, when they were around 9 or 10, I decided in May that I was no longer going to do back to school shopping ever again. I would give them each $100 per month for any kind of clothing related item. Which is quite a lot of money, but it was for everything: shoes, socks, underwear, clothing, swim suits, etc. for the entire year. That way they had time over the summer to either save it up or to start building their wardrobe before school started. Then there were no arguments about how badly they wanted that $70+ pair of jeans or sweatshirt or shoes. It was their money to spend as they saw fit for the month. My oldest caught on very fast, she would make a list of what she had: dark jeans, light jeans, bermuda shorts, different tops, sweaters, shoes, accessories, etc. She would shop at second hand stores, clearance racks, etc. trying to find inexpensive ways to make cute outfits and supplement them with bold jewelry items that could change the look of what she was wearing. My youngest at first didn’t care but after a few months in, she realized that she could get a bigger bang for her bucks following her sisters rules. When they were 16 and expressed interest in finding jobs, I took them each shopping for interview appropriate clothing at Macy’s during their sales (like the day after Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, etc) and got them a pretty good wardrobe for trying to find work and to possibly carry them into the work force if they needed business type clothing. I let them spend $200 on interview clothing and it was amazing how much they got for that! They both found work right away after that, and worked as much as they could, paid their own gas and regular daily expenses plus were good students and involved in after school activities. My youngest eventually was elected twice as a princess for school dances, once for their Holiday Ball and once for Prom. The holiday ball dress we found at Ross for $.99 due to a broken zipper that I got fixed at the dry cleaners for $6! And her Prom dress she found at Macy’s for $25 on clearance, and she was elected Prom Queen!! Everyone else in the pictures had giant ball gowns that most likely cost $200 or more (some are like wedding gowns) and she was wearing sandals she bought in the kids department at Target for $10 (she has small feet) and a $25 dress, she did her own hair, makeup, everything. Just goes to show it doesn’t have to cost a fortune to be a princess, or even a queen. 🙂
Now that my girls are 19 and 21, they thank me regularly for teaching them how to budget, shop for nice pieces at discount prices and to look for things that last a long time and spend less on trendy items, and more on things that will last.
I had moments where I did offer to spoil my girls (things like dances) but they refused to make me purchase anything with a hefty price tag. In the end, this did afford us the ability to take trips together and send them to all the dance classes they wanted and pay for recital outfits. And it’s a lifelong lesson for them. They both are very cautious about things like getting a credit card from anywhere, they like to pay cash for things and they rarely ask me for financial help. I had to actually encourage them both to apply for financial aid and student loans because they are so cautious! Explaining to them that a student loan would help give them positive credit at a low interest rate helped them both, they are both working at careers they love. They both are thinking of saving up to buy a car rather than buying new with a payment! Way different than many of their friends who have an “I want it now no matter what it costs” attitude and have no work ethic! Those hard lessons sometimes stick with them for a lifetime and we do them a disservice when we just give kids what they want just because we can.
My son likes all of the cool pens (that cost alot and very rarely have an accompanying coupon). We prepare for school shopping by saving coupons and shopping sales, and then my son gets the opportunity to raise his own money for the ‘wants’. He gutted our garage this morning and is sitting out front running a garage sale as I type, so that he can buy those wants. Takes the pressure off mom, teaches him the earn vs spend part of finances, and my garage is cleaner to boot 🙂 Great article!
Love it!! I think there are so many valuable lessons happening here. Some of them certainly being to budget, to live within your means, to make use of what you already have. I am eager to teach my kids that once you get past the nonsense of trends and having to have what everyone else has “just because”, you are a much freer person. Who wants what everyone else has when that involves stressing over what’s cool and going into debt to get it? Not me!
i love this idea!!! 🙂
We used this basic concept when our then 8 year old wanted to redecorate her room. She had $200 to buy bedding, curtains, paint, throw rugs and/or decor. I couldn’t believe what a great fun lesson it was!
Great ideas!