This is the eighth installment in our series, Homemaking Your Way. Catch up on the first seven here.
How can I get those strawberry jam stains out of the dining room rug?
Why does my son hate vegetables?
How do I teach my daughter not to begin every sentence with, “I need…”
Why are there not more Starbucks drive-thrus in the greater Portland area?
I have no clue. In fact, I could write an entire post on all the things I do not know about this thing called motherhood. Half the time, I’m just making it up as I go along [don’t tell my kids].
However, there is one thing I know for sure: my kids have too many toys.
In our home, toys seem to multiply as fast as socks disappear.
When we put our house on the market, I realized the only way I could get it show-ready with small kids was to significantly decrease our toy population. Last fall, Angela casually mentioned this idea to cut back on toys, and I tucked it away for a rainy day. February was rainy. I decided to take the plunge: The 5 Toy Challenge.
Here’s how it works:
First of all, I simply watched my kids play. What do they value? What do they use? I quickly figured out which toys they loved and which toys they ignored. I made a list of 10 toys: 5 for each kid. Our list looked like this: books, puzzles, dolls, train set, Legos, Zhu Zhu pets, etc. As you can see, I counted each collection or set as one toy. In the end, 5 toys per kid is still more than enough to keep them busy.
Then I started weeding everything else out of their toy boxes and shelves. Do you realize how much junk is hiding in there? A crazy number of random odds and ends that have no use or meaning. Having the list was helpful; I just kept coming back to the toys I wrote down. If it wasn’t on the list, it either went in the keep box to rotate or the Goodwill box to donate.
I wish I could say that I involved my older child in the process, teaching her about want and need and stupid wooden grasshoppers that serve absolutely no purpose. To be honest, I chickened out and sorted the toys when the kids were napping. See, I told you I’m still figuring out this parenting thing.
Anyway, this process took me several weeks; each week I was ready to get rid of a little more. It was a tough assignment! But that’s still in great shape! Oh, Grandma gave that to her last year. I think Evan might play with that in a few months. On and on. It’s like going through your closet, only with lots of tiny plastic pieces involved.
I finally realized that I was a bigger hindrance than my children. I was assigning sentimental value to things that had not earned it and pretending like I was hanging on to this stuff for my kids’ sake. How will Elly be accepted into college with only 32 stuffed animals? Will Evan’s dental development be delayed if he does not have teething rings in six stylish colors? Will this impact their happiness? Require counseling? Seriously, who are we kidding? Our children do not need more stuff! They need us and a few carefully-chosen, well-loved toys.
As new toys come in, old toys are rotated out so we always keep the 10 toy total. I just keep a plastic tub containing extra puzzles, books, and toys in one of my kid’s closets. I plan to rotate those into the toy box every 6-8 months. So far they haven’t been missed, and I haven’t pulled them out. Who knows? Maybe they will go straight to a consignment shop or garage sale. Staying on top of the 10 toy limit will take regular sorting and tossing, but having the rotation option makes it much easier.
Gifts can be tough because they are given from generous hearts and add up so fast. We rarely give our children gifts on their birthdays or other special days because, well, we don’t need to. They receive more than enough from friends and family members. Experience or outing gifts are a great option to cut down on clutter. Our zoo membership is one of those gifts that keeps giving all year long.
So, I took the 5 Toy Challenge four months ago. And guess what?
:: My kids are cuter and smarter than ever. They laugh and cry and play and sleep just like normal kids. They are not wandering aimlessly about the house looking for something to do. Their curiosity and development have not suffered one bit. I got rid of ten books and set aside their Alphabet Pal, but I think their chances of getting into a good preschool are still strong.
:: My stress level has decreased. We have had three house showings in the last week; all of them on short notice. However, I was actually able to take it in stride, knowing I could whip my house into relatively good shape in a short amount of time. It’s not rocket science. Less to pick up means less time picking up. Putting our house on the market was a good motivation for us, but I would do this challenge again in a heartbeat. I love the simplicity of less stuff.
:: Our quality of life has improved. Ok, I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s true.
Both of my kids’ birthdays and Easter are celebrated within a 10-day span. Between birthday presents and Easter baskets, there is a sudden rush of sugar and toys in our home. When the confetti settled this year, my husband made an interesting observation about our 3 year-old, “It seems like the more stuff she gets, the less content she becomes.” He was right. And I was more convinced than ever that teaching our kids the difference between quality and quantity is an important process.
There are so many parts to being a mom that I have not figured out yet, but it feels good to have a small handle on the toy situation. It has made our home and our lives so much less cluttered. And not stepping on that wooden grasshopper anymore is a nice bonus, too.
Today is a rainy day. Are you ready to take the 5 Toy Challenge? (If 5 per kid is overwhelming, try starting with 8 or 10 and work your way down.)
Leave a comment! What are your tips for staying on top of toys?
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I totally 100% agree with this. I am constantly throwing things out. I keep an ongoing Donation box and when it is full out it goes. I swear those toys breed in the night. I find my kids are more creative with thier play when they only have thier few favorites around. They find cardboard boxes, a piece of PVC pipe…It’s amazing what they find fun and I am asking myself “all those beautiful toys and they are playing with that?!”
This is really tough for me. I feel like I’m purging every two months, and they’re just reproducing.
A big part of the problem is that while I rarely buy stuff for myself, I am Constantly spoiling my kids. If I see a bargain on something I think they’d like, I have a hard time resisting.
Obviously, this is an issue I need to work on.
I also highly recommend this book:http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Toys-David-Shannon/dp/0439490294/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1306514795&sr=8-1
My kids Never get the message, but it’s still funny, and the illustrations are amazing-hope that was o.k. to share.
I love this idea. I’m am definitely going to do this before my son’s 2nd birthday and the next onslaught of toy mania.
And in answer to your question: “Why are there not more Starbucks drive-thrus in the greater Portland area?”…..because you have Dutch Brothers. I’d give up my Sbux drive-thru for a Dutch Brothers Non-fat CocoMoco anyday.
I have noticed these ideas too as I have raised my son-who just turned 12 & I have to say is still true. He really only plays with a few toys. Now I need to get busy and get rid of a bunch! Am quite sure both of our lives would be improved and less stressful.
I just went through my kids toys the other day and just decided to take out all the happy meal toys. I ended up with a laundry hamper full of them.
Oh my~ I just explained the 5 toy thing to my 5yr old daughter, and she told me i could give your kids 5 of her toys! LOL… she has a lot of toys i would’nt even know where to begin:) but i love the idea for me… they would get more than 5 but love the idea like maybe only this shelf of toys or 1 toy box full… very cool idea:) thank you!
Well timed post! My daughter is asleep and I’m going to tackle the toys overtaking my living room!!
The one thing I splurge on is books….from Value Village! I rotate them…after we’ve read them a ton, they go back to VV and I get a 20% discount for a bag for my next shopping trip! It’s a win-win!! No library fines (cause I’m bad like that) and the books are in amazing shape and cheap. Whatever doesn’t fit in her little bookshelf means that many books have to be donated!
I love the idea; we follow a similar rule but ours is broken down by gender. You see, we have 8 kids and the 5 toy rule could swamp us. So, we have legos, duplos, trains, block and dress up for the boys. Ponies, doll house, dolls and dress up for the girls. Add in plenty of paper and crayons and this household is ready for imaginative action.
I hate to be surrounded by plasticky toys, so I seldom buy toys for my 7 year old daughter. And yet they somehow sneak into our house (thanks to those who would bring gifts to my daughter’s no-gift birthday party)! I always wanted to get rid of them, but felt bad because my daughter has definitely less toys compare to the other kids…
But thanks to this post, I’m now determined to donate my daughter’s not-so-favorite toys. Thanks!
I always add no gifts necessary to my son’s birthday invitations, but only about one fried has ever done that. Personally I really believe it is too many toys to receive at one time & feel the play time is the best part of a party.
“I was assigning sentimental value to things that had not earned it and pretending like I was hanging on to this stuff for my kids’ sake.” i’m struggling with this right now. i’m just trying to cut down the amount of stuffed animals my 2-year old has, but am hung up on the ones that used to belong to me or my older kids. it’ll be a while before i am ready to pair the toys down to 5, but i’ll keep it in mind. it sounds heavenly.
Stuffed animals are the hardest!! It seems like they all have a story.
We are totally battling this right now…with a 9 year old and two 5 years olds (all of whom have birthdays within weeks of Christmas) have so much “stuff” that they don’t seem to appreciate anything. My hubby and I have wanted to scale way WAY down with everything around here. Having read this I’m thinking that we are ready to take the task on!!!
Great idea. Thanks for sharing. They also seem to like the things that aren’t toys better…like the plastic cup from Starbucks (at least when they are 8 months-old anyway) or my cell phone! 🙂
Great job! I’ve tried and it’s hard to do. It reminds me of the book, “Simplicity Parenting” which will actually put a philosophy behind the statement that your kids will be JUST FINE and perhaps even happier with less toys. Fantastic book if anyone is interested. Talks about the value of a few select toys vs. a mountain of stuff that teaches children to value nothing and look for happiness in the next latest and greatest thing. The book also addresses other ways our children are overwhelmed and overstimulated. Highly recommend the book!
Thanks for the suggestion! I just put this book on hold at the library.
I think it sounds really good too-these are things I have noticed too as I have been raising my son. He is 12 now & I find our best days are when we are outside & he is working on his fort. Now he also has an indoor building area in the garage (so he is covered for all kinds of weather).
Great post! You are a gifted writer, Emily.
I have 6 children, so you can imagine how much stuff we have accumulated! My husband had this great idea for our (almost) 4 year old, who seems to have the most trouble with putting away toys. I moved all the toys out of his room to an out of the way part of a room downstairs. He has to “check out” the toys with us before he uses them, and he must “check them back in” before he goes on to the next thing. Plus, it makes it easier for toys to “disappear” 😉 to Goodwill when he forgets what’s there (and doesn’t even miss it).
And for those of you that have all littles, it does get easier as they get older. It’s not even an issue anymore for our 16 and 14 year olds!
Also, library books might work for older children, but my 15 month old still chews everything and I prefer she not chew books that we got else where. Just my weird thing. Plus she loves her books so much that they would be on my ‘five’ list.
Some friends of mine and I do a toy swap! Box up the toys your kids aren’t playing with any more and trade them with another friend and now they feel like they have ‘new’ toys.
I love the toy swap idea! That would be great, especially during those loooong wet winter months.
We hardly get them “toys” for birthdays. We by them bigger gift items. Bed, Bike, Scooter, Swing set or a Vacation for the family that they prefer or an outing that we might not do so often. Enchanted Forest. Something that lasts and will get used. My kids are smaller so it is easier. I think 1 bigger item they love is much better then the little stuff. Family and friends tend to get them the smaller toys or I use them when I get them on sale as a “good job” treasure chest item.
Love it! This has been on my list of to-do’s for a long time but for some reason, I keep putting it off. We have WAY too many toys. I have had trouble getting rid of any since my son was born 4 years ago (he now has a younger sister who plays with the younger stuff). I have boxed toys up and put them in the garage and do rotate toys now and then, but I really need to purge. Just because they’re not broken doesn’t mean we need them. Thanks for this reminder!
If you have space, consider the gas cost of the library vs. hassle of books in your home. Our library is 12 mi away (one way) so keeping books around “pays” in reduced trips.
love, love , love this post…. instead of buying or keeping a ton of books, go to the library. Such a novel thought, I know but, it keeps things fresh and was a resource I rarely used until I had my son. I’d planning on parring our stuff down to an art box, cars, trains, dinosaurs, and sports equipment. I’m sure legos are down the road.
THANK YOU!!!!! My living room is out of control with toys, and it gives me more anxiety than it gives my daughter pleasure to play with them. I am going to do this. I will do this!
I love it! I am in quit the predicament at my house. I have 3 girls in one room. We want to move but my hubby is back at school and has a year left. We know it is in our best financial interest to stay put (and debt free). But with three girls all in different stages of toys and stuff, organizing is a challenge. I am going to try this challenge starting at 5 each and see where that lands us. Thanks for writing this!
{ -Rachel- }
What perfect timing … my almost 3 year old and myself just spend the last hour working on cleaning and putting toys where they belong in his room. Maybe while he is down for his nap I will sneak in there and get some boxed up. Hmmm … just the motivation I needed to purge … thank and again perfect timing!!!
This is a great suggestion! With my little man Lukas on the way in August and planning to share a room with his big sister Ella, it seems like a GREAT time to pare down on toys. I am still working on paring down on clothes, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but I’d say I’m about 75% done with ALL of the necessary clothing organization/paring down. Awesome! A consignment show in April was a great motivator. I’ll just channel that same motivation into toys and I think we’ll all be better off! I don’t know about my Ella, but I sure know that *I*, for one, am less content with MORE stuff. Get it outta my house! 😀